Something Has Nozzled Your Tower Life

Upcoming PS4/Vita shooter Dariusburst: Chronicle Saviours got its first trailer recently. After 20 seconds of sweeping intro reminding you that Taito would really, really love to cash in on your nostalgia and call it a day, we're treated to some of the strangest song vocals I've ever heard in a game trailer. Check this out:



The hell is she saying? I've transcribed what I think might be the lyrics below. Begin listening with the trailer above and follow along to see if I've made any mistakes.

You naval witness, we truck all we can.

Something has nozzled your tower life.

Good place to start is Justine, we're the car.

Someone will murder your leg.

Beyond being unintelligible, the voice is puzzlingly bad. Like, as in, it puzzles me as to how someone could hear that and go, "Yes. Yes, that is where the marketing money will go. That right there."

Or maybe there was no marketing money? Was the conversation more like, "Okay, guys, I need you to go to that karaoke bar across the street and hire the second-worst singer you hear."

"Second worst?"

"We don't spend money on total garbage. Lessen the blow for me."

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