Gaming is rife with some totally amazing items and abilities, but part of loving them as much as I do means accepting that those things are just something I’ll never have in real life. Go ahead and let me mourn. I’m nearly 30 and I’m still not totally okay with the fact that I’ll never get to pet a chocobo. But I really wish I could.
It’s a longing that’ll probably never leave me, wanting to experiment with those awesome abilities and items in my favorite titles. Games usually find me role-playing an Omnic and experiencing tranquility. I’m making cherry blossom trees bloom with my magical paintbrush. I’m living out dreams that could come true if only I had just a few of the things I’ve seen in the games I’ve experienced throughout my life. Especially if I had a V-Watch. I could totally become a superhero just like Joe. That my friends, would be viewtiful.
Lately I’ve been thinking about Cappy from Super Mario Odyssey, which looks to be one of the single most awesome items I’ve ever wanted to lay my hands on. You can harness the power of pretty much anything, from a dinosaur to little balls of lava. But let me go back to the dinosaur thing. You can control a dinosaur. Um, hello? Awesome!
For those mistakes I’ve made and want to go back and erase, Life is Strange’s Max Caulfield’s time-rewinding ability would be perfect for say, rewinding through that entire cup of fruit punch I spilled on my beige carpet that I tried to clean up but it ended up leaving a light brown stain. If I ever were to get in a fistfight I’d just pause the moment and position my enemies in awkward positions that they would have no idea how they got in, take some pictures, and skip away merrily before letting time flow freely again. They’d be none the wiser, right
I’ve always wanted to get my hands on an energy sword, too. Why? Just because. Who can honestly say they haven’t wanted to get their hands on some gorgeous weaponry from any given shooter? I’ve always had a certain fondness for the energy sword of Halo. For one thing, it’s not metal like any normal, boring sword. It’s plasma formed into the shape of a blade by a tiny magnetic-field that’s inconspicuously held in the handle. A simple flick of the wrist and you’ve got a deadly piece of equipment to carry around in case there’s some act of revenge self-defense you need to carry out. It’s like a lightsaber, only cooler.
Aside from ganking video game items to use for my own selfish reasons, there are quite a few that could do a lot of good in the world and we should all wish them into existence somehow. Take Phoenix Downs (Final Fantasy) or any variant of them for example: Life Bottles (Tales of Phantasia), Revival Beads (Persona 3), Cup of Lifenoodles (Earthbound), and I’m sure you can name about a million others. Of course, they all revive fallen party members. Being able to bring a loved one back to life, or anyone in the world? I’m not sure about the limitations of said items since I’ve only really used them on freshly “unconscious” party members, but who’s to say they wouldn’t work on people who have actually been gone for a while? It would revolutionize the way we live our lives and, well, die our…deaths. Yes. We could meet all our fallen idols and connect with family members we never got to meet. I know I’d give good money to get my hands on an item similar to some of those, even if it had limitations.
Sadly, though, that’s not going to be happening in the near future. Nor are we going to see any potions or panaceas popping up to cure all our ails and get us feeling 100% again. It’s true, I’ve pretty much resigned myself to the fact that all the amazing things I see in games are never going to end up in my hands. I can always dream though, right? Do any of you covet video game items that you can’t get in real life? Don’t be afraid to let me know. I’m already trying to figure out how to procure a Boo Mario power-up. I just don’t think I can get the whole floating thing down, though.
