Slow Down, Bull Review

Like a bull in a china shop.

Insomniac Games’ first foray into PC gaming is a wholly unexpected one. Rather than releasing some sci-fi FPS like Resistance or a gun-laden spectacle such as Sunset Overdrive or Ratchet & Clank, the developer has instead quietly pushed Slow Down, Bull onto Steam, a cuddly, inoffensive puzzle game that will see 50% of its profits being donated to Starlight Children’s Foundation, a charity with the intention of improving the lives and health of children and their families.

It’s undoubtedly a smaller effort from the studio, who have thus far almost solely focused upon the development of triple-A titles, but its philanthropic intentions alone are enough to warrant it some attention. However, the game that’s attached to this thoughtful project is unfortunately forgettable.

Slow Down, Bull places you in the hooves of Esteban, a bull with a penchant for the arts who is striving to create his masterpiece. In order to do so, you’re guided through a series of levels in order to collect buttons, shells, and other various bits and bobs that Esteban can use for his art, with you bouncing off of walls to gain speed. You'll also need to avoid enemies who will cause you to drop all of your collected items à la Sonic The Hedgehog, and hurl into hedges and trees that will uncover more items and multipliers you can use to increase the worth of what you’re carrying.

The “hook” of the game is an inventive one. Whereas the majority of games see you pressing a button or moving a thumbstick in order to make your character move, in Slow Down, Bull it actually brings the gameplay to a halt. Using either the left/right mouse button or the left/right trigger of a controller, Esteban will stop dead and spin in a circular motion, with you releasing the button/trigger to send him on his way in a different direction. Holding both triggers will cause him to gain momentum, propelling him further forward. You can also bounce off walls to gain a speed boost, while making Esteban run through a puddle of water will slow him down, which is handy for when you find yourself overwhelmed with enemies.

You’re also tasked with managing Esteban’s stress levels, with him launching into a careless bout of rage if you hold down the buttons/triggers for too long. He’s uncontrollable when he becomes too stressed, leading to you crashing into enemies with wild abandon and forcing you to lose all of your collected items. It’s a unique concept, and one that initially comes close to being maddeningly addictive, before it teeters over the edge and settles for just being plain ol’ maddening.

Much like Esteban, I felt myself feeling very easily stressed out while playing Slow Down, Bull. During the game’s first two worlds there’s a sense of cohesion to its level design, with Esteban able to bounce between walls, gain momentum, and collect items fluidly. It still provided a good level of challenge, as both maintaining Esteban’s stress levels and navigating around the roaming enemies proves to be significantly difficult when the very act of movement threatens to send the bull into a rage, but it was still fun and the completion of a level felt rewarding.

However, as the game progresses this cohesive level design makes way for a barrage of enemies appearing on-screen in order to impede your progress, adding a false sense of difficulty to proceedings by forcing the player to make precise movements that aren’t manageable with its stiff controls, while simultaneously ensuring that Esteban doesn’t grow too anxious. It’s not a great deal of fun.

The growing level of frustration that Slow Down, Bull encourages is hilariously incongruous with its art design, featuring some of the most twee visuals I’ve seen in a game. Mimicking the charming characters and backdrops you’d see in a children’s book, the hand-drawn stylings of Slow Down, Bull certainly make the often infuriating practice of being routinely bombarded with constantly spawning enemies more bearable. But then you find yourself having to restart a level once again after losing all your items in the middle of a flurry of bad guys, and then you realize that you’re actually shouting at potentially the cuddliest looking game that will be released on PC this year.

It’s also somewhat surprising that this is a PC release, given that it both looks and plays exactly like a mobile game. The control scheme seems like an ideal fit for a touchscreen interface, and it is certainly more suited to be played in quick bursts than it is lengthy play sessions, which would make it more at home with the mobile crowd. Perhaps it was a money issue or there were more problems with releasing it on mobile stores than Steam, but whatever the case, it certainly doesn’t feel like a PC game.

In the end, Slow Down, Bull is a game that has been created for a very worthy cause, though it’s difficult to recommend it outside of the charitable donation that will come with purchasing it. Its poor level design makes way for forced difficulty, and aside from its colorful, welcoming art style it is an altogether forgettable experience. Insomniac will no doubt return to the PC in the future, and when they do they’ll hopefully have something more substantial up their sleeves.