Break out the Band-Aids.
If you’ve ever stayed up for a late night round of channel surfing, you’ve
probably borne witness to some of the dregs of film school. Every once in a
while, however, you’ll stumble across a gem. A film so noteworthy, it stands
like a shining diamond amongst a sea of cubic zirconia. My friends, I’m talking
about the classic “B” movie.
With the increasing popularity of survival-horror games on our favorite gaming
platforms, it was only a matter of time before a true B movie made an appearance.
Welcome to Illbleed, one of the most…uh…interesting games to
grace the GR doorstep. With a combination of horror and humor, it’s “B”-ness
shines like Godzilla’s Dance of Joy.
Fictitious B-movie producer Michael Reynolds is the creator of a famous theme
park known as “Illbleed.” Reynolds has issued a challenge to all comers – survive
the horrors of the park and win ONE MILLION DOLLARS (uh, that’s one million
fictitious dollars, of course). People go in, but they never come out.
You’re Eriko, the leader of the horror club at Castle Rock School. A few of
your fellow club members stupidly went into the park and were never heard from
again. So like any other purple-haired
heroine, you’ve got to venture into the park to save their butts from danger.
Just remember not to run into the woods, take a shower, or (of course) get freaky.
Those people die every time.
Unlike the average horror game where every zombie is trying to grab a taste
of your juicy cerebellum, Illbleed sets out to scare you to death through
traps, monsters and other horrific events. Your weapons? Sight, hearing, smell,
and sixth sense, just to name a few. You’ll have to use them effectively to
escape the horrors of the park. Each time you encounter a nasty surprise or
shock, your character’s heart begins to race and your very life will be threatened
by a simple heart attack.
So armed with your trusty senses, you’ll face a ton of shock events that threaten
to put you six feet under. And when I say shock, I mean spine tingling, pants
wetting, heart stopping shock. Anything and everything IS out to get
you. See that innocent-looking lightbulb in the corner? It’s a monster. That
computer monitor you’re staring at? Definitely a death trap. The pus-oozing
zombie with a blowtorch hiding behind the curtains? Well, duh.
Promising a refreshing blend of gameplay along with fear and fun rolled into
one, Illbleed is one frightfest survival-horror fans should watch for.
We’ll just have to keep our eyes out this February and hope this game comes
packed with its own electrocardiograph. Clear!