Simpsons: Road Rage, The,Road Rage Review

Gas, brake, honk. Honk, honk, punch.

For years, Simpsons fans (who are rabid and multitudinous) have been clamoring

for a good Simpsons game. So far, they have been let down. Game developer after

game developer has taken the Simpsons license and churned out crap, and in some

cases, worse than crap. So, as a particularly rabid Simpsons fan myself, I am

pleased to announce that The Simpsons Road Rage is the best Simpsons

game made. Too bad that’s not saying much.

It seems to me that anyone trying to make a Simpsons game faces two major challenges.

The first problem has plagued the manufacturers of plush toys and other novelties

since the show first came out: Matt Groening’s odd cartoon characters translate

terribly into 3D. Lisa’s head, for example, always ends up looking like a plastic

yellow puffer fish.

The other problem is even more fundamental: What kind of game do you make?

The lack of any obvious answer has led to a string of lame platformers, some

dumb little action games, a bowling game, and a very, very bad wrestling

game. Exhibiting another profound lack of creativity, the developers of

Road Rage have made a Crazy Taxi clone.

The wealthy tyrant Mr. Burns has taken

over Springfield’s public transportation system and filled the streets with

nuclear buses to drive people around. This is bad because’well’I guess because

Mr. Burns did it. So the town of Springfield is out to stop him by turning all

their cars into taxis. Ok OK, so Shakespeare

didn’t write the plot and it’s basically just an excuse to get everyone speeding

around in taxis. Fortunately for the developers, Crazy Taxi is a pretty

good game and The Simpsons do a decent job of recreating it, at least while

you’re actually playing.

For those of you who have never seen Crazy Taxi, here’s how it works:

You pick a driver (in this case, a Simpsons character) and drive their car around

Springfield like a maniac, picking up passengers and dropping them off for money.

The faster you get them there, the bigger your bonus, but run out of time and

it’s game over. It’s fast and fun.

The graphics, however, are pretty mediocre. I don’t fault the game for it’s

bland textures because the cartoon has simple colors and the game does a decent

job of looking like the show. But the edges are pretty grainy and there are

some odd graphical glitches, like Ralph Wiggum,

who looks like he is wearing a hat made out of bees.

The

sound is great at first, with plenty of new original recordings by the real

cast members. And with more than 30 Simpsons characters making an appearance,

from Professor Frink to Mayor

Quimby, there’s a lot of dialogue. The best conversations are specific to

particular pairs of characters when they recognize each other and say more meaningful

things. But most of the time they just say the same random quotes, and while

there are a lot of them, they’ll start repeating themselves pretty quickly and

you’ll start wishing they’d just shut up for a while.

The Simpsons: Road Rage also improves on Crazy Taxi by making

it bigger. There are 18 characters total, most of whom you unlock during the

game when you get enough money, and each has their own unique vehicle. There

are six large areas of Springfield to explore. There’s a “mission mode” where

you have 10 tasks to complete, like using Otto

and his school bus to “knock over 10 street lamps in 30 seconds.” Finally, there’s

a split screen two-player mode which Crazy Taxi never had.

But the best part of the game is that the developers are obviously Simpsons

fans themselves – the game is a wealth of Simpsons trivia. They’ve tried to

keep the virtual Springfield as true to the show as possible. From the Kwik-E-Mart

to the Frying Dutchman, Simpsons fans

will recognize common and not-so-common locations. Drive into the hills above

Springfield and the real nerds will recognize Kamp Krusty, the Stonecutters

Lodge and Rancho Relaxo.

The developers took the same care with the drivers and their cars. Chief Wiggum’s

police car and Homer’s family sedan are obvious, but the aficionados will love

Marge’s Canyonero, Apu’s

70’s Firebird and Barney in the Plow

King.

So it seems like we have a pretty solid game here. Not brilliant, but fun

and dorky, maybe a “B.” But there’s a horrible curse on this game: the worst”

loading times” ever. You can spend more time waiting around than actually

playing Road Rage. There’s a long load time before and after

every single game, and each game is only a couple of minutes long. Mission mode

is even worse; to play a 30 second timed mission, you have to wait for 40 seconds

for it to load! Better not fail, or you’ll have to wait again every time you

retry. Even one of Grandpa’s interminable

stories is less boring.

All this makes The Simpsons Road Rage a perfect rental for Simpson

fans, but I wouldn’t want to buy it. In just a few days you can unlock all the

bonuses, explore virtual Springfield to your heart’s content and suffer through

what will add up to hours and hours of loading time. After the fun wears off,

you’ll find Road Rage feels more like stop and go traffic.