The cult classic franchise Destroy All Humans is making its triumphant return. THQ and Black Forest Games announced that a remake of the original title is due out for PS4, Xbox One, and PC next year. Judging from an announcement trailer featuring Rammstein’s “Ich Will,” there’s a good chance that it will preserve the ridiculous identity that makes the PlayStation 2 and Xbox entries so memorable. The following illustrates why now is the perfect time for this sadistic series to be making a comeback and why the Destroy All Humans remake should be on every open-world game fans’ radar.
Destroy All Humans Remake | Technology has improved
Protagonist Cryptosporidium-137’s main goal in Destroy All Humans is to harvest human DNA so that his alien race, the Furons, may continue to clone themselves and achieve immortality. This mission takes players across the United States to such places as a Tennessee farm community, a town in Nebraska, a sunny seaside suburb, a secret government base, a metropolis on the Eastern seaboard, and a capitol city that bears an uncanny resemblance to Washington D.C. Each location is open and pliable enough to instill the impression that fans are completely altering the terrain, though they don’t rival the sweeping landscapes and interactive environments found in some of today’s biggest games.
Given how well hardware has evolved in the past 15 years and the impressive open world titles that have launched during this time frame, now is a great time for the Black Forest Games to recreate and expand upon Destroy All Humans‘ fundamentals. Each of the aforementioned places can include more structures, vehicles, and humans to decimate either on foot or by flying saucer. Crypto’s standard four-weapon arsenal should grow to include the sequel‘s powerful Meteor Strike and Path of the Furon‘s hilarious Superballer. There’s nothing quite like witnessing a rock from space completely level a high-rise, after all. For now, one can only imagine how good that will look with a modern coat of paint.
Destroy All Humans Remake | Sandbox games are all the rage
It’s suffice to say that the Destroy All Humans remake could be a lot of fun if players are once again given freedom to do whatever they want. There’s a reason why titles like Minecraft and Grand Theft Auto 5 continue to attract millions of users every year, as each allows them to change the world on a whim. Black Forest Games’ project should double down on this sandbox premise and encourage players to wreak as much havoc as they desire. The ultimate goal of the game is to completely annihilate human civilization, right?
The remake should also embrace the ridiculous physics that have made software like Goat Simulator famous. Though ragdoll effects are absent from a lot of big budget titles today, it would make perfect sense for a franchise as ridiculous as Destroy All Humans to maintain the feature. Abducting an innocent bystander with the saucer’s tractor ray and hurling him or her toward the horizon makes for a perfect clip to share on social media. Players could gather a group of humans in a circle so that they can send them flying with the Sonic Boom bomb, too. The remake could be a dream come true for every creative sadist out there, especially those who’ve grown tired of torturing Creepers or Los Santos residents.
Destroy All Humans Remake | It doesn’t take itself too seriously
For those that are unaware, Destroy All Humans‘ lore indicates that the Furon race accidentally removed its genitalia through a series of nuclear weapon tests. While cloning has been effective in keeping the species alive so far, the DNA used for the process is degrading. Crypto is instructed to take over Earth after learning that his species impregnated the human race to “let off a little steam” a long time ago. It’s silly and tonally different from most open-world games.
Players have a variety of tools to help them on their quest to extract every human brain stem. These include torture devices like the Disintegrator Ray, which neatly disintegrates bodies into ashes, and the Zap-O-Matic, which electrocutes and stupefies its victims. The Anal Probe Gun is a slightly more sophisticated weapon, as it jams inside a person’s rectum and pulls out the majority of their central nervous system.
If the above isn’t bizarre and exciting enough for newcomers, they should rest assured knowing that the game culminates in a showdown with a towering robotic caricature of United States President Harry Truman. All of this serves as proof that Destroy All Humans embraces its strange premise and doesn’t once attempt to strike a serious chord. By choosing not to take itself seriously, the game forms a unique identity that no other sci-fi property can claim for itself. The game’s remake has potential to be a breath of fresh air in a medium inundated with dramatic narratives. At its core, Destroy All Humans wants players to have fun in the most straightforward way possible.
It’s been too long since fans have seen Cryptosporidium-137 in action. While they may have to wait a little longer to fling around a beautifully remade version of Bessie the cow, they can experience the first two games in the series on modern systems via the PlayStation Store and Steam. People who haven’t yet had a chance to check out what Destroy All Humans has to offer should know that it’s hard to forget one’s first time with the Anal Probe Gun. Here’s hoping that the remake penetrates our minds just as deeply as the original did in 2005.
