What is your Quest? Review

What is your Quest?

To find the Holy Grail (of course). What is the air-velocity of an unladen swallow? Well… that’s a more difficult question. Where did you get the coconuts? Don’t be silly. Of course, if you’re not going to be silly, there’s no point in playing Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail.

If you’re a big fan of the Pythons,

you were probably already planning to buy this CD. And I won’t stop you. Nope.

You fans are going to love this one. It contains new material by Eric Idle,

Michael Palin, Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam, and John Cleese (by FAX). While this

CD contains video of most of your favorite scenes from the movie, (in fact it

contains most of the movie) it also has never before seen/heard out-takes. Little

scraps of meat from the editing room floor. Also the ‘never before performed’

King Brian the Wild scene!!

OK. All the fans of the movie have stopped reading this review and are rushing headlong for their cars so they can go and buy the disk. So the rest of this review is directed at everyone else. You’ve probably seen one of the Monty Python movies, and you’ve seen John Cleese in something else that you can’t quite remember, but you’ve never joined the cult of people who know the lines of every Monty Python skit (and will repeat them for you endlessly).

Actually, I think you non-fans

will enjoy this one too. Holy Grail is actually a game, with a purpose

and a plot, unlike it’s well named predecessor: Monty Python’s Complete Waste

of Time. In this adventure game you must wander the strange lands of medieval

England in your God-given quest to find the Holy Grail. Trying to defeat you

on your quest are surly Frenchmen, the Black Knight, witch-burning mobs, the

Black Plague, the Castle Anthrax, and an extremely vicious rabbit.

As, Arthur, King of Camelot, you must gather your knights around you and brave horrible dangers and flee form lusty virgins. Don’t be deceived by false grails! In your travels you may also find the ‘Holly Grail’, the ‘Goldy Hail’, the ‘Rolly Polly’, and even the ‘Moldy Tail’.

There are also some small arcade

games you must play during your journey. Do well, and they can help to further

your quest. The first of these games is the Tetris-like ‘Drop Dead’ in which

you must stack plague victims in a mass grave. Careful! Some of them might not

be quite dead yet and can selfishly twitch and spoil your body-stacking plans.

Other equally tasteful games include ‘Burn the Witch’, ‘Knights in Kombat’,

‘Catch the Cow’, and the totally indescribable ‘Spank the Virgin’.

There are two reasons why nearly everyone will enjoy this game. The first is the attention to detail. From the flawless background music and sound effects, to the crisp graphics, the game designers have included over 500 megs worth of entertainment. While you explore you will find that nearly everything on the screen is clickable and produces some effect, whether or not it has anything to do with your quest. These tiny details are what keep games interesting in the long run.

The second reason to play M.P.A.T.Q.F.T.H.G.

is that it is genuinely funny. This is a rather rare occurrence in all

forms of media. I couldn’t help laughing out loud when Sir Bedevere lifted his

robe for the first time to allow a stray cactus to scuttle away. You will chuckle

quietly as you find yourself ordering shrubbery from ‘Intershrub’, the online

shrubbery service. You will fall out of your chair when you hear the plaintive

delight of a woman’s voice ‘OOOOhhhh! You make your little lobster girl soooooo

happy.’

I envy those of you who may play this game without ever having seen the movie. Every tiny humorous detail will be new to you. You may be confused and frightened. This is a truly bizarre world without logic or reason. Things will make no sense and one thing will not lead to another. Don’t Panic! This is normal.