Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney Review

Transcript: Apollo Justice vs. Phoenix Wright

March 27th, 2008, 12:00 PM. District Court. Courtroom No. 2.

Apollo Justice: (Panicked… Palms sweaty…)

Game Revolution: It seems our defendant is already nervous. Perhaps we should deliver a verdict now.

(Crowd mumbles.)

[image1]Judge: As apparent as that may be…

AJ: (Back straight. Shoulders up. Come on, Apollo. Focus!)

J: …everyone has the right to a fair trial. (Smacks gavel.) Court is now in session!

GR: The prosecution is ready, Your Honor.

AJ: The defense is ready as well, Your Honor.

J: Does that mean…?

AJ: Yes, I claim the right to defend myself.

J: Hmmm… well, given that you are among the top defense lawyers in the country, I see no reason to object. That is, if the prosecution…

GR: No objections here, Your Honor. Let him do so without assistance, if he wishes.

J: Then if the prosecution would be so kind as to explain the charges?

GR: It’s simple, really. The plaintiff, Phoenix Wright, accuses Apollo Justice of copyright infringement.

J: But aren’t they both from the same company?!

[image2]GR: Certainly. However, the defendant has violated an internal agreement by reproducing and performing duplicate techniques owned by the plaintiff for financial profit. Indeed, the similarities between Phoenix Wright and Apollo Justice cannot be denied!

J: A bold claim, but a reasonable one. Having presided over this courtroom for many years, I must say that their tactics are certainly similar. How does the defendant plead to these changes?

AJ: Not guilty, of course! (Slams stand.) We are both defense attorneys in the same courthouse, in the same world with the same looks and sounds, presiding under the same judge, following the same legal procedures, against the same irritating prosecutors…

GR: OBJECTION! We would not be so irritated if defense attorneys actually showed decisive evidence, instead of blurting out baseless conjectures. Need I remind you how many times the court has wasted its time with your constant befuddlement with the word “contradiction”.

J: (Nods.)

AJ: (Grr…) Still…

GR: Now, if our obviously hostile witness cares to answer, is it not true that Phoenix Wright also has this problem? Do you recall the numerous occasions when you stood dumbfounded, staring blankly when asked to produce a piece of evidence that verifies your accusations? You sit there sifting through the Court Record over and over again, not knowing how to proceed.

AJ: But…

GR: In fact, you will bumble through every crime scene – examining every needless nook and cranny, presenting every last insignificant scrap to every person you find, in the hope that someone might say something else to advance the investigation. Then every once in a while, you whip out your stylus for some so-called forensic science that is readily discarded after it’s used.

AJ: (So thoroughly ignored… so many times…)

GR: Why be as linearly minded and wastefully persistent as Phoenix Wright, if you don’t need to be, and especially if you don’t mean to impersonate him for your own success?

[image3]AJ: OBJECTION! Now if the prosecution allows me to speak, yes, there are times when I feel 100%-certified stupid. But that’s all a part of defending a client who faces almost insurmountable odds, and in my short career, cases have only gotten harder and longer. Somehow, I always get dramatic cases with multiple twists and turns, with larger-than-life clients and purple blazer-wearing, rock god prosecutors.

GR: And just like Phoenix Wright, you end up abusing the system.

[Save Game.]

J: (Smacks gavel.) That’s a serious accusation!

AJ: It is, isn’t it? Yet witnesses are still able to lie in this courtroom without any real penalty. And if I may say, Your Honor, you have a nagging urge to throw out guilty verdicts, believing everything that the prosecutors say. My position is frequently between a rock, a hard place, and a loaded gun. But in the end, the accusations are true.

J: What?!

(Crowd erupts in an uproar.)

J: Order! (Smacks gavel.) Order! (Smacks gavel harder.) Order in the court! (Points gavel at Apollo Justice.) Explain yourself!!!

AJ: Well, I can only make about five errors before you throw me out of the court, so I simply save before a part I have no idea how to complete… But I don’t think the prosecution wants this secret out, either.

GR: (Looks down and away.)

J: What do you mean by ‘save’? This isn’t a video…

[Reset.]

J: (Smacks gavel.) That’s a serious accusation!

GR: Yes, so you just happen to be following the footsteps of Phoenix Wright. And you just happen to have a young female as your assistant.

[image4]AJ: Since when has Trucy been a girl that can channel spirits? If I remember correctly, Maya can turn into her well-bosomed sister, while Trucy is a magician…

GR: …who calls Phoenix Wright “Daddy” and whose “panties are in an extra-dimensional space”. May I quote: “Anything can fit in there!” Truly, the innuendo is far from dismissible.

J: What?! Is this true?!

AJ: Your Honor, you don’t remember? Umm… It’s part of her… err… magic act.

J: Oh! I… I… I think I would remember something like that.

AJ: (Ugh, the judge needs a boot to the head. In fact…) Your Honor, you’re lying.

GR: For once, I think he’s right.

J: (Smacks gavel.) I am not the one on trial here!

AJ: True. But nonetheless, given your standing in the court, a lie is quite serious.

J: How dare you suggest that… I will hold you in contempt!

AJ: I would hold back, Your Honor. See this golden bracelet? It allows me to perceive your body language, whether you’re swallowing, moving your fingers, or dilating your eyes. And when you were saying “I would remember”, you were, well…, let’s just say your body was speaking for itself.

GR: Really?…

J: I will not permit such insulting testimony in my court! Bailiff! Please remove the defen…

[Reset.]

J: (Smacks gavel.) That’s a serious accusation!

[image5]AJ: Yes, but though my court tactics are closely tied to those of the plaintiff, I have shown decisive evidence proving significant differences between them.

GR: OBJECTION! By which you mean a sparkly bracelet.

AJ: OBJECTION! That bracelet is significant enough. Besides, there is no lawful crime in using a winning strategy, especially if it’s the only one that leads to the truth! Now, I cannot answer to those who object to the plaintiff’s strategies in the first place for they will surely object to mine. But honestly, the plaintiff should not be offended, but flattered, at my most sincere of imitations.

Man: OBJECTION!

(All turn toward the courtroom entrance. The plaintiff stands akimbo, shaking his head.)

Phoenix Wright: You still have a lot to learn, kid. If you’re going to make it in this world, you have to pave your own path. Still, copying me is not a bad start… though your hair is hardly as spiky as mine. Ha ha ha ha ha…

AJ, GR, J: (Why do I like him again?)