GR’s Shootin’ Gallery o’ Shooters
Hey there, pard’ner, we’ve just come down here from that big ol’ tussle of games known round these parts as E3. From what we see’d, we got a bumper crop of shooters coming in next year. 20 of ’em to be spursific. With so many young guns aiming for your wallet, which one is the best fit for ya? We here at GR have rigged up a golly neat system using the latest tech-noll-o-gee to figger it out and save you the trouble.
Here’s what you do. We’ve set up some fancy pitchers, and all you have to do is “shoot” your way through. Then we sort it all out and magically predict your personality and which upcoming shooter is perfect for you. So step right up, wrap your finger around the trigger, and blast away! Yeeehaw!
"Vote" someone off the island!
Bioshock
You are an Aquarius. No, that’s not right. You are an aquarium.
You are made of glass and are full of water. You contain many fishes, for you are a large aquarium who prides itself on keeping a full and friendly tank. You have a secret, though. It’s contained in the cheap plastic box designed to look like a pirate’s chest nestled among your coral. What’s inside? Forbidden knowledge? Fish poop? No one knows.
Although you have no hands, no brain, and no money, if you were to buy a shooter it would have to be Bioshock, and not just because it takes place underwater. Like your own reflective surface, Bioshock gleams with high-production values. And the antique look and feel of the shrouded and abandoned city hides a secret as closely kept as the one in your pirate chest.
Mysterious and atmospheric also describe the iconic inhabitants that you will meet: the Big Brothers and Little Sisters. But they probably aren’t any relatives of yours. From what we’ve seen, they are more deadly than the spleen of the blowfish swimming in you. Seafood might not be everyone’s cup of chowder, but you will take to Bioshock like a fish to a fryer.
